You know how people say; "Well I wish someone had told me!" After making a decision only to learn later it may have not been the best route? I don't want that to be you.. For many of you, you really know me, you know I don't ever push things onto people. And as a general rule as a doula I'm purely here to educate.. That’s what I do! You know I care, if I didn't I would not be writing this..
I've been at the cross-road point lately.. Trying to decide how to delicately articulate my words..
My main focus in my career is geared towards birth. Natural birth more to the fact. I've taken clients of many back grounds and whose choice to birth was their own. I'm generally unbiased in a mom's decision on how or where she chooses to birth. And I hope whatever you choose will make you happy and that when its all said and done you enjoyed your experience. But I'm not here to discuss birth.. I'm writing this to all the moms, moms-to-be who are expecting boys, or may have boys in the future (even if you've already had a son whose been cut, it doesn't mean they all do)
I have a wonderful long list of new momma's who are expecting in the near future! It's just wonderful! But like I stated before, remember I care about you, and I'm just giving info. so it's something for you to think about and really look into..
Your expecting a little boy. Perfect in every way, right? Your son will be beautiful.. Yes? (hopefully you're all nodding, duh! ;-) haha.. Sorry. Anyways.. There is a choice many mom's (and dads) don't see as an option.. It's just something society has chosen as the norm.. And to what I'm referring to is the controversial topic of circumcision.
My dear friend.. I implore you to do the research for yourself, don't just take anyone's word for it.. Even mine. My reasons behind coming to you today is not to scare or bully.. This topic I've been studying myself for almost 2 1/2 years.. It all started with a paper I had to write for school. It really opened my eyes.. I never really knew much about it, except it was just what was done to newborn boys. But the fact that parents really don't know what goes on is what was horrifying to me.. Some parents I've discussed this with (mostly my clients who had boys) Either one, wouldn't do it, it seemed pointless to do that to their sons when they are so tiny. Or they just didn't know and their doctor stated it as a matter of factly, "so lets get his circumcision done." kind of thing.. Some parents do their research. I do give them that. But sometimes its biased information.
One thing I've heard from parents; "Well he needs to look like his father." well for one thing, do you think they'll be standing naked together and discuss their penis? Really? lol.
Another common "reason" is; "He'll get made fun of. via; locker room, etc.." Did you know that by the time your son reaches that stage of life he can be powered with knowledge and the fact that he will be the majority.. Not the minority.. In 2009 the CDC announced that almost 70% of baby boys were kept intact. This percent is still rising today. So if peer pressure of being made fun of is a worry, start saving for your daughters boob job while your at it.
But I don't really want to go into that at the moment.. It's the immediate future I'm more concerned with. It is false that circumcision protects against HIV/STD's.. It doesn't prevent UTI's or penile cancer. It does not make it "cleaner" this is a huge falsehood.. If that were the case than why don't we circumcise our daughters?? It's basic hygiene. You wash! There is no "special" way to take care of an intact male.
Did you know that baby boys don't receive real pain medication? The doctors ensure you they don't feel it.. Have you witnessed a circumcision? If not, youtube it.. Then tell me they don't feel it. People who can watch them without feeling, without your heart feeling like its going to stop, really must not have one. Those screams are NOT from a baby who is just "colic-y" its from a brand new soul, taken from the only person who has ever been their constant. And ripping pieces of their flesh from their body. Sugar water is not a pain medication.. If someone gave me sugar water then started cutting me with a scalpel I'm sure as heck going to feel it!! It's no different with our precious, perfect baby boys. Even with anesthesia, the dorsal nerve cannot be completely blocked, making the surgery incredibly painful.
Some mom's may say; well my son hardly cried! (which by the way, is it because they were actually present? Or going by what the nurses told them? Because if I were present, watching them strap a baby to that board and take scissors and scalpels to a baby I would NOT just stand there!) Let me tell you why this is.. When you experience extreme pain, you will cry, but then go into shock.. Which is what many baby boys do. They start to act lethargic. And stay that way for many days if not weeks. Many scream when they soil their diapers, changing them is painful, its an open wound. I've had to witness that with one of my clients baby’s.. He had a horrible time latching on.. It made breastfeeding a bit difficult. He just wanted to sleep. Which is a normal reaction for going through a traumatic experience at such a young age.
When the doctor cuts off the foreskin of healthy baby boy, he's cutting off over 20,000 nerve endings.. (take you finger and drag it lightly across the top of your hand, then straight down the palm, notice the different sensations? That’s several thousand. And compare the sensation, its not "unbearable" right? Its not over-stimulated.)
~No national or international medical association in the world recommends routine circumcision.
~Only the USA circumcises the majority of newborn boys without medical or religious reason.
~Circumcision denies a male's right to genital integrity and choice for his own body.
~Medicalized circumcision began during the 1800s to prevent masturbation, which was believed to cause disease.. (this was started by Dr. Kellogg.. The same man who owns Kellogg cereals..)
~All mammals, male and female, have a prepuce organ called the "foreskin" or "clitoral hood."
~Female Circumcision has only been illegal in the US since 1997~
Now for the religious ones.. If you believe in the bible, read it! It states that all sacrifices are done away with in Christ. When he was sacrificed, he took upon himself all sacrifices.. "The law of Moses was fulfilled in Christ. Obedience to the law of Moses was no longer a requirement for salvation since Jesus had completed his atonement. "
Here are a few references:
New Testament (Law of Christ)
1 Corinthians 7:19
Book of Mormon and Doctrine & Covenants
3 Nephi 15:4-5
"Listen to the words of Christ, your Redeemer, your Lord and your God. Behold, I came into the world not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance; the whole need no physician, but they that are sick; wherefore, little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin; wherefore the curse of Adam is taken from them in me, that it hath no power over them; and the law of circumcision is done away in me.ʺ Moroni 8:8
I have countless sites and books that will be most helpful.. I do apologize for how long this is.. There is just so much information.. I'm passionate about this, and like it was stated in my first paragraph, I wanted to have a clear conscience that I tried..
If you choose, after research, learning, asking, that you will still circumcise your son.. Stay with him.. Don't let him go through that alone.. You hold your babies when they get shots. When they are scared. When they are in pain... Stand by him..
(WARNING: The link below has graphic images and a video. If you've never witnessed a circumcision, this is one of the ways it is done...)
Again, know as a friend, this is why I am coming to you..
I won't allow this to be done to my sons.. They will remain the way God made them.. Perfect. Not what our society has deemed the norm.. Please, please, really research for yourself..