Food for Thought..

You are constructing your own reality with the choices you make...or don't make. If you really want a healthy pregnancy and joyful birth, and you truly understand that you are the one in control, then you must examine what you have or haven't done so far to create the outcome you want.
-Kim Wildner-Mother's Intention: How Belief Shapes Birth

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Ob's so far behind, they think they're ahead..


Ok, this blog post could go ON and ON, just so I can vent this topic.. But I'll keep it brief tonight.. I had a link filter through today that made me literally giggle and squirm in my seat..

"New Study Shows Normal Labor Takes More Time Than OBs Are Allowing For"
"Obstetricians have been trained to expect labor to progress faster than it actually does, which may be the reason for the high rate of inductions and c-section deliveries in the US according to a new report. The study published inObstetrics & Gynecology used information from over 62,000 normal, natural births and figured out the average labor time for dilation from 4 to 5 cm, 5 to 6 cm, and over 6 cm. Most cases of "failure to progress," which is the number one reason for inductions, occur during this part of the first stage of labor."
"The authors found that women who had given birth before progress much quicker once they reach the 6 cm mark than women who were giving birth for the first time. The progression from 4 to 5 cm and 5 to 6 cm went much slower for both groups of women than earlier studies have shown. The established obstetrics benchmark based on those earlier studies created an expectation for a much quicker progression through active labor than what this report found. The researchers also pointed out that spinal nerve anesthetics also may be delaying the second stage by 29%, with an average labor time of 3.6 hours with an epidural and 2.8 hours without it.

The authors proposed an updated model of labor progression for new moms based off their research. They feel that, if OBs were to follow their new model and allow labor to continue for longer in the lead up to the 6 cm mark, it may reduce the number of interventions, c-sections, and subsequent repeat cesarean deliveries in the US." (Emphasis added by me)

Here is the link the above was shared from:

To read further on the matter;

I just have to do a little dance here.. Because midwives, have been saying this forever! There are no time limits on birth, Labor isn't a textbook, and OB's are impatient(as are many moms-to-be). When I have heard women say; "I just wasn't progressing!" or "I reached X cm, and it just stopped" well, we can explain this.. That is NORMAL. Generally (some first time momma's more so) "plateau" so to speak, where there is a longer time between stages. 4-5, 6-7/8. Perhaps mom is still on her back, not moving around helping baby to drop down, the list is endless.. :) (and that will be a whole other blog, but its midnight and I have to get up early, so for time's sake, humor me)
Anyway, my whole point, is that with "modern medicine" the physicians, scientists; think they are so far ahead, that really they are behind.. Midwives(who have been around since the beginning of time) KNOW labor is not "by the books" nor are they/we clock watchers.
{as a general disclaimer I won't say that, sometimes intervention, is needed, just not abused} So here is the long way around to the end of this post, Labor is about mom and baby working together to reach a common goal. Not mom and baby and.. XYZ... Labor is work, hard work. As long as things are progressing well, heart tones are good, everyone is doing well, labor goes on, it can take a few moments to several days! IT'S LABOR! I get really erked when I hear about time schedules.. Induction/c-section dates.. Heaven forbid anyone let baby alone.. Babies are born when they are READY. (another study done recently, PROVING that babies DO decide, when babies lungs are mature they send off a hormone/signal informing mom's body to contract!) I'll post that link here when I filter through them all!
Healthy moms, Healthy babies, need to be left alone! They don't need to have their autonomy taken from them!
Glad "modern" medicine is catching up with the rest of us..

Saturday, December 24, 2011

The reason's for the season!

Merry Christmas my readers, today's post is not directly birth/parenting or lifestyle related. But it is a gentle reminder, that the Holidays are for coming together, setting aside our differences and doing the best that we are able.. :) Happy Solstice, Merry Christmas, and a wonderful New year!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Mary's Birth Story

(I wrote this a year ago.. And filtered through my work on my new computer and found it:) I decided this year I would share it!)

Christmas December 25, 2010

Today is Christmas Day.. Presents have been opened, our little ones have toddled off to enjoy their new gifts and we’re left to clean up, and enjoy the day. I listened to a song today while cooking our Christmas dinner.. It was about the birth of Christ. I’ve never really thought much about the actual Birth before.. Its usually around the general nativity and Christ. But during this song, my mind wondered to Mary..

A young woman about to give birth to her first baby. Traveling (by donkey no less..) at the end of her pregnancy, knowing that birth was near.. What she must have been thinking.. So in honor of the season, I decided to create a Birth Story for Mary, (Being a Doula, birth stories are my specialty;) in a way I think her labor and birth would have gone..

It’s late in the day as Mary and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem. The sun has set and everywhere seems to be full! Mary starts to feel a rush of intense power deep within her.. She knows that the baby will be making his entrance into the world tonight.. She doesn’t worry Joseph about them yet, as they are not painful.. Just an interesting sensation.. Finally they find a place to sleep.. But sleep is not on the menu for tonight.. There is something new in the air. And even the animals in the manger, where they would be for the night, knew it..

Joseph prepared a place for Mary. Clean water, straw and swaddling. Mary remained calm and relaxed, she trusted her body to do what God had designed it to do.. She breathed in peace and exhaled the tension.. She moved around as she labored, did whatever felt good to her in the moment. When a rush overcame her she moved with it, feeling her baby moving down. Smiling.. Knowing her son would soon be in her arms.. Joseph remained nearby to support Mary in any way he could.. Holding her, dancing with her, whispering endearing things to her..

Soon the rushes are fast, and both Mary and Joseph know its close. Mary feels her baby in her womb as he moves inside her for the last time.. Joseph stands behind Mary and holding her up as she squats on the straw, Mary breathes slowly as her sweet baby slowly merges into our world. She reaches down and feels her sons head, gently rubbing him and speaking loving words.. She gently pants as her little ones head and body peacefully slips out and into her loving arms. Mary brings her son to her breast and he is wide eyed and beautiful..

Joseph gently helps Mary to get comfortable, brings her food and drink, as she nurses her newborn son..

I imagine this is probably what Christ’s birth was like.. No drama, no one standing between your legs screaming at you to push your baby out. Just peaceful, loving and calm.. When I’ve described blissful births to women they don’t always believe its possible.. But I’ve seen it. I’ve witnessed mothers birth their babies with a SMILE on their faces!! Laughing, and enjoying the miracle they are performing. God designed our bodies to create life, to bring them into the world in a warm and loving environment.

Mary was a woman. She had no special powers, she trusted God, herself, her body, her partner. She felt safe, supported and loved.. So, Christ was born in a lowly stable.. Babies have been born in cars, bathrooms and back porches.. But I’m pretty sure Mary didn’t complain about it.. Birth is a miracle no matter where it takes place..

What an awesome time of the year to enjoy family and friends, to watch our little ones squeal with delight that Santa brought them presents.. And to reflect on the gifts Christ gave to the world.. I’m honored to be apart of the noble art of Motherhood. As I draw near to the birth of my own son, I dwell on the knowledge within me.. Trusting in God, my body that he so perfectly designed, my baby, my husband and the rest of my support team. Remember that birth is a normal part of life.. Not something to be feared or numbed.. If you allow it, it can be the most enjoyable experience of your life. Feel that power in yourself and trust in it.

I hope the holidays bring you many wonderful, heartfelt moments. Merry Christmas and happy holidays..

~Happy Birthing!

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Calling

Oh Readers, I apologize for how long and inconsistant I've been, but SO much has been going on that I honestly couldn't tell you where it started! But I will be getting better now that time is slowing down and I HAVE to blog for business:)
Well, I officially "retired" as a Birth Doula, as of October of this year. Due to a lot of miscellaneous things, I knew I needed to. But something wonderful emerged from this ending, I got the 'push' I needed, I applied for midwifery college about a month ago!!!! Oh goodness, I was thrilled and nervous! And as of two days ago! I received my acceptance letter to college!! :D I am officially a Midwifery Student!! I am to the moon and back happy. Not only will I be serving women through the childbearing time, but also their well being, women's health, holistic healing, fertility, health and newborns! Oh be still my happy heart! So that is my new journey, and I'll be blogging about that now, throughout my midwifery student journey and random postings.. :)
This is from Midwifery Today's manager, she has it at the beginning of the New student guide, for when we order all our packets, thought I'd share:)

"The decision to become a midwife is one of the most important you will ever make, right up there with getting married or having a baby. Becoming a midwife will affect your life that much, become your very identity. Becoming a midwife isn’t just choosing a profession, it is answering a calling that has chosen you and will be you.

Be careful how and what you learn. You must learn to guard your heart and mind. Birth is about women and their families and involves so much more than medical knowledge. Find a program that nurtures you the way you want to nurture women. Interview harder than a pregnant woman looking for a midwife. Use your powers of discernment. While there are many good programs and teachers, some programs are as harsh as medical doctor training. Find a program that suits you and your learning style.

Midwifery is about loving relationships and will stretch you beyond what you had thought possible, mentally, spiritually and physically. I extend you a warm welcome to the calling of midwifery. It is among the highest.

love, jan
Mother of Midwifery Today"

I have been called, my friends. It has whispered to me since I was a child, I just didn't know it. I am overjoyed to be so blessed, that I get to do what I love, and Lord willing, everything will workout if this is what I'm truly meant to do. Thank you for reading, and joining me on this journey.

Blessings all.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

*Water Birth Benefits*

Benefits of Water for Labor and Birth

This information was found and complied at (

Greater comfort and mobility. The mother has much greater ease and freedom to move spontaneously and to change position to assist the descent of the baby.

Reduction of pressure on the abdomen. Buoyancy promotes more efficient uterine contractions and better blood circulation, resulting in better oxygenation of the uterine muscles, less pain for the mother, and more oxygen for the baby.

Helps mother to conserve her energy. Immersion reduces opposition to gravity; supports the mother's weight so that her energy can be used to cope with the contractions.

Promotes deeper relaxation. As a woman relaxes deeply in water, her hormones kick in and she starts progressing faster and with more rhythm; labor becomes more efficient.

Water relaxes the pelvic floor muscles.

Water minimizes pain so effectively that for most women other pain control methods are no longer needed.

Water stimulates the touch and temperature nerve fibers in the skin. It blocks impulses from the pain fibers, known as the Gate Theory of Pain.

Immersion is often more effective and safer than an epidural. Some people call waterbirth an "aquadural."

Facilitates a dysfunctional labor. Water can be an effective way to stimulate dilation of the cervix when the mother has difficulty progressing into the active stage of labor.

Water can reduce the need for drugs to artificially stimulate labor. Often, simply getting into the tub will result in dramatic and rapid progress to full dilation within an hour or two.

Lowering of blood pressure. When anxiety is causing high blood pressure, immersion in water often helps lower it.

Change of consciousness. Immersion helps relieve anxiety and promotes relaxation. Water helps a woman to let go and focus inward as labor strengthens.

Easier breathing. Moisture in the air makes it easier to breathe and can be helpful to women with asthma.

Facilitates the second stage of labor. Many mothers are less inhibited in the water. The warm water softens the vagina, vulva, and perineum, leading to fewer injuries to these tissues.

Many women experience rapid second stages, with the baby emerging minutes after the body starts pushing, also known as the fetus ejection reflex (see Odent, The Nature of Birth and Breastfeeding).

Empowerment of the mother. When a woman delivers her baby while remaining awake, aware and in control, it greatly enhances the birth experience for her and becomes a source of great personal strength and power that enriches her life forever.

Greater involvement of the father. Because the mother's pain and stress is so greatly reduced, it is much easier for fathers to particpate and take a more active role in the birthing process. Many men are reluctant to become involved in the birth experience when they know that the mother is likely to endure intense pain, trauma and suffering during labor and delivery.

Enhanced family relationships. When the mother's pain is dramatically reduced, many fathers eagerly take a more active role in the delivery, resulting in a greater family bond. When fathers are more involved it increases the possibility of a joyous birth. Both parents and child get to share a wonderous experience that can enhance their relationships with each other for the rest of their lives.

Better parent-child interactions. A mother who has had a beautiful and empowering birth experience will have an especially positive association in her mind and emotions to that child; and a baby who has had an easy, non-traumatic, not painful, gentle birth will have an especially positive association to the parent. This exceptionally positive start to their relationship will likely enhance the parent-child interactions forever.

Evolving humanity in a positive direction. Many psychologists believe that babies born gently grow up to become more gentle adults, and have a greater ability to deal with problems non-violently.

Resources: Daniels, 1986; Balaskas, 1990; Lichy, 1993; Napierala, 1994.

Thanks to Andrea Eastman of the Gentle Birth Alternatives Home Page for her help in compiling this section.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Big Changes!

Hello World!

Recent events have sent me into a whirlwind. I've decided to heed the Call. I am going to be a Midwife! :D My papers are all drawn up, preceptor set up, all that I'm waiting is the last final push.. (No pun intended) I'm waiting to start till after the holidays so I won't be torn between anything. I've been a Doula for almost 4 years, but I've decided to "retire" I was meant to do more, the things I want to do.. I have to do. Midwifery.. Wow, its just such a full word.. I can't describe it.
I'll still be teaching Childbirth Education and Preparing Placenta's. Just no more "doula-ing" . (Unless you are a family/friend and would like me present for support as your friend with tricks;)

I'm SO excited to be on this new path.. I've needed this last month or so to reflect. I took a much needed break from everything and just enjoyed the moments with my babies, crafting with them and preparing for the Holidays and other events coming up. During this past month I've thought of how I want to go about doing everything. I'm in the end phases of officially closing my Doula practice, the website being closed down to jump start a new one, email changes, etc. I felt sad for only a moment, but it was fleeting, for I remembered a saying, "Don't be sad because it's over, be happy because it happened." And it brought me peace. I have always enjoyed new adventures, trying new things and going the distance. This is my new adventure. I feel so blessed my friends.. And am finally at a place where I can share it.

Blessings to you.

Friday, July 29, 2011


Change is inevitable, you can't stop it.. Everyday is different than the last, each moment never to be repeated. Daily I think about change, how it works, how I could (illogically) avoid it.. How I can create it.
Do not be discouraged my friends, be the good change you can bring about. You never know who is listening or watching you. You may cause a small drop in the ocean, but that drop creates ripples that just keep going on and on forever. And your the one who started it:)

Friday, July 1, 2011

Reflect on Motherhood

A wonderful look into what we'd tell ourselves if we could go back to before the birth of our first babies.. If you know a mom-to-be, this would be a lovely video to give her the confidence in herself! :)

Happy 4th of July weekend!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Here's something to smile about:)

Hello readers, I think I fixed the followers thing.. I'm not sure, but either way! Enjoy! Here is a nice article on 50 totally awesome perks of being Mom! :) Lots of blogs on the way.. Busy summer! Happy Memorial Weekend!

(Just copy and paste, looks like this page is still not fixed...)

Friday, May 20, 2011

Card North America Day!

Tomorrow is May 21st, the WHOLE Network and Save Our Sons have asked all intactivists and intactivists in the making to "card America" go to their site here:
We're to either print out or order their cards/magnets/flyers and put them literally EVERYWHERE! Stick them in the Maternity clothes section, tape them to the baby clothes, stick them in pregnancy books, anywhere a pregnant woman (or anyone for that matter) will see them! Get Creative! *As I realize this is tomorrow and ordering won't be an option unless you already are an intactivist and knew about this, I suggest printing them out/ordering them from the following sites:
Info cards, magnets, flyers and ideas can be found at:

peaceful parenting:

The Whole Network:

Saving Our Sons:

Barefoot Intactivist:

TLC Tugger:


Intact America: Intactivism Shop:

*Remember even if you can't tomorrow, ANYDAY is great! Check out this site to see what and where others have put their Cards! :)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

*Intactivist on Fire*

Dear Friends,

You know how people say; "Well I wish someone had told me!" After making a decision only to learn later it may have not been the best route? I don't want that to be you.. For many of you, you really know me, you know I don't ever push things onto people. And as a general rule as a doula I'm purely here to educate.. That’s what I do! You know I care, if I didn't I would not be writing this..
I've been at the cross-road point lately.. Trying to decide how to delicately articulate my words..
My main focus in my career is geared towards birth. Natural birth more to the fact. I've taken clients of many back grounds and whose choice to birth was their own. I'm generally unbiased in a mom's decision on how or where she chooses to birth. And I hope whatever you choose will make you happy and that when its all said and done you enjoyed your experience. But I'm not here to discuss birth.. I'm writing this to all the moms, moms-to-be who are expecting boys, or may have boys in the future (even if you've already had a son whose been cut, it doesn't mean they all do)
I have a wonderful long list of new momma's who are expecting in the near future! It's just wonderful! But like I stated before, remember I care about you, and I'm just giving info. so it's something for you to think about and really look into..
Your expecting a little boy. Perfect in every way, right? Your son will be beautiful.. Yes? (hopefully you're all nodding, duh! ;-) haha.. Sorry. Anyways.. There is a choice many mom's (and dads) don't see as an option.. It's just something society has chosen as the norm.. And to what I'm referring to is the controversial topic of circumcision.

My dear friend.. I implore you to do the research for yourself, don't just take anyone's word for it.. Even mine. My reasons behind coming to you today is not to scare or bully.. This topic I've been studying myself for almost 2 1/2 years.. It all started with a paper I had to write for school. It really opened my eyes.. I never really knew much about it, except it was just what was done to newborn boys. But the fact that parents really don't know what goes on is what was horrifying to me.. Some parents I've discussed this with (mostly my clients who had boys) Either one, wouldn't do it, it seemed pointless to do that to their sons when they are so tiny. Or they just didn't know and their doctor stated it as a matter of factly, "so lets get his circumcision done." kind of thing.. Some parents do their research. I do give them that. But sometimes its biased information.
One thing I've heard from parents; "Well he needs to look like his father." well for one thing, do you think they'll be standing naked together and discuss their penis? Really? lol.
Another common "reason" is; "He'll get made fun of. via; locker room, etc.." Did you know that by the time your son reaches that stage of life he can be powered with knowledge and the fact that he will be the majority.. Not the minority.. In 2009 the CDC announced that almost 70% of baby boys were kept intact. This percent is still rising today. So if peer pressure of being made fun of is a worry, start saving for your daughters boob job while your at it.
But I don't really want to go into that at the moment.. It's the immediate future I'm more concerned with. It is false that circumcision protects against HIV/STD's.. It doesn't prevent UTI's or penile cancer. It does not make it "cleaner" this is a huge falsehood.. If that were the case than why don't we circumcise our daughters?? It's basic hygiene. You wash! There is no "special" way to take care of an intact male.
Did you know that baby boys don't receive real pain medication? The doctors ensure you they don't feel it.. Have you witnessed a circumcision? If not, youtube it.. Then tell me they don't feel it. People who can watch them without feeling, without your heart feeling like its going to stop, really must not have one. Those screams are NOT from a baby who is just "colic-y" its from a brand new soul, taken from the only person who has ever been their constant. And ripping pieces of their flesh from their body. Sugar water is not a pain medication.. If someone gave me sugar water then started cutting me with a scalpel I'm sure as heck going to feel it!! It's no different with our precious, perfect baby boys. Even with anesthesia, the dorsal nerve cannot be completely blocked, making the surgery incredibly painful.
Some mom's may say; well my son hardly cried! (which by the way, is it because they were actually present? Or going by what the nurses told them? Because if I were present, watching them strap a baby to that board and take scissors and scalpels to a baby I would NOT just stand there!) Let me tell you why this is.. When you experience extreme pain, you will cry, but then go into shock.. Which is what many baby boys do. They start to act lethargic. And stay that way for many days if not weeks. Many scream when they soil their diapers, changing them is painful, its an open wound. I've had to witness that with one of my clients baby’s.. He had a horrible time latching on.. It made breastfeeding a bit difficult. He just wanted to sleep. Which is a normal reaction for going through a traumatic experience at such a young age.
When the doctor cuts off the foreskin of healthy baby boy, he's cutting off over 20,000 nerve endings.. (take you finger and drag it lightly across the top of your hand, then straight down the palm, notice the different sensations? That’s several thousand. And compare the sensation, its not "unbearable" right? Its not over-stimulated.)

~No national or international medical association in the world recommends routine circumcision.

~Only the USA circumcises the majority of newborn boys without medical or religious reason.

~Circumcision denies a male's right to genital integrity and choice for his own body.

~Medicalized circumcision began during the 1800s to prevent masturbation, which was believed to cause disease.. (this was started by Dr. Kellogg.. The same man who owns Kellogg cereals..)

~All mammals, male and female, have a prepuce organ called the "foreskin" or "clitoral hood."

~Female Circumcision has only been illegal in the US since 1997~

Now for the religious ones.. If you believe in the bible, read it! It states that all sacrifices are done away with in Christ. When he was sacrificed, he took upon himself all sacrifices.. "The law of Moses was fulfilled in Christ. Obedience to the law of Moses was no longer a requirement for salvation since Jesus had completed his atonement. "

Here are a few references:
New Testament (Law of Christ)
Acts 15:1-35
Galatians 5:6
1 Corinthians 7:19
Galatians 6:15

Book of Mormon and Doctrine & Covenants
3 Nephi 15:4-5
D&C 74
Moroni 8:8

"Listen to the words of Christ, your Redeemer, your Lord and your God. Behold, I came into the world not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance; the whole need no physician, but they that are sick; wherefore, little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin; wherefore the curse of Adam is taken from them in me, that it hath no power over them; and the law of circumcision is done away in me.สบ Moroni 8:8

I have countless sites and books that will be most helpful.. I do apologize for how long this is.. There is just so much information.. I'm passionate about this, and like it was stated in my first paragraph, I wanted to have a clear conscience that I tried..
If you choose, after research, learning, asking, that you will still circumcise your son.. Stay with him.. Don't let him go through that alone.. You hold your babies when they get shots. When they are scared. When they are in pain... Stand by him..

Helpful Sites:
(WARNING: The link below has graphic images and a video. If you've never witnessed a circumcision, this is one of the ways it is done...)

(there are hundreds more.. but like I said.. do your research

Again, know as a friend, this is why I am coming to you..

I won't allow this to be done to my sons.. They will remain the way God made them.. Perfect. Not what our society has deemed the norm.. Please, please, really research for yourself..

Thursday, May 5, 2011

peaceful parenting: Inspirational Jealousy

peaceful parenting: Inspirational Jealousy: "By Katherine Henderson © 2011

The above link takes you to a wonderful site, Peaceful Parenting. She has guest writers come in and submit their stories, this is one of them. I've been on both sides. A hospital birth, that was all but enjoyable. And a home birth, where words cannot fully express the pure ecstasy and explosion of emotions that came from that amazing experience!
As a doula I've had these conversations with clients. The 3 years between my kids births offered me plenty of time to educate myself on what I truly wanted. I had the honor of attending many births between my own and seeing these women call upon their own power to birth their babies the way they wanted! Oh what joy it brought me, but a small part of me still jealous that I had yet to have the dream birth.. Where I can say I did it, feel empowered by my own body! As I'd seen so many women do. THAT is what I got. 7weeks ago I gave birth to my son. Inspired by the amazing work. It truly is "Inspirational Jealousy" (Just the good kind;)

Monday, May 2, 2011

~Our Home-Water Birth of our Son~

I'm not even sure where to begin this amazing journey. It really starts just before the birth of my firstborn, which stings a bit to remember. In 2006 I eloped with the love of my life, we lived happily in Provo, UT. We found out we were pregnant with our first in the fall of that year.. My husband had known it was going to be a girl, and what her name would be before we even knew we were pregnant.. Sometime in the winter we had moved to WA state, my husband (who served in the United States Marine Corps) found out he would be deploying to Iraq around the time our baby was to be born. So as you can see, it was a very stressful time.
July 2, 2007 our precious firstborn child came into the world, at 1439 a beautiful baby girl, 7lbs 14oz 19 1/2 inches long. The experience wasn't what I had hoped for, or discussed with my CNM. As a hospital birth, Bonding wasn't established, they took her away all night, and nursing just failed.. I was in a downward spiral. At just two days old, my husband had to leave.. I was left alone, a new, single mom. With support pretty much non-existant. I went searching for something more. I researched everything I could get my hands on that involved pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum time. I accidentally stumbled across Doula's. That is where my new road emerged.
During the first year of my daughters life, things took time.. My husband in a war zone, I moved into our own apartment when my daughter was 5months old, probably the best thing I could have done for us. I continued to research Doula's, and this new world I stumbled upon. As my daughter grew, we gained the bond that we so desperately needed. My husband came home just before her first birthday, (2008) and to our surprise I became pregnant (I was on BC) sadly, we lost that baby on my first mothers day.. The experience was very hard for me, but we decided to try for another baby, it felt right.. After several more miscarriages during those 2 years after he returned, life wasn't right for me.. I suffered from severe depression and anxiety. I gained an unhealthy amount of weight and no longer had a drive at life.. I had started schooling, to become a Doula, that was my own outlet, a small glimmer of hope that one day I might be able to experience the bliss I read about, studied, and witnessed at the births I was blessed to be apart of.
In 2009 my husband was once again preparing to deploy, my doula business was just taking off, we had just closed on our first home, but all was on hold again.. Afghanistan was my next painful experience.. But during that year I was determined to change things, I joined a gym, lost weight, felt great, worked hard at my Doula job. Took care of my daughter, our new home, and everything else that came my way.. In May 2010 my husband came home from Afghanistan, I felt a wonderful new chapter starting.. To our surprise, we became pregnant instantly! We found out in June we were expecting. I was terrified to loose this baby, but found faith.. We were thrilled, the "estimated due date" was March 15 2011. A wonderful pregnancy was mine to enjoy. I felt so blessed and honored to be carrying another child.

Through divine guidance we already knew it was a boy, and had been given a glimpse already at our future. His name; Peter Aragon. His first name, Peter. Came to me when we were 9 months pregnant with our daughter, 3 1/2 years before his birth, during our sealing. (We're LDS, and after a year we were able to be sealed for time and all eternity on our first year anniversary! And then 2 days later had our firstborn) I shared this knowledge with my husband and tucked it away in our memories for when that son came to us.. His middle name however, came after my husband returned from Afghanistan. We hadn't found out I was pregnant yet, but I felt strongly about it.. Carlos Aragon, whom our son is named for, was killed in Afghanistan in March of 2010. My husband was the last person with him, and it forever will affect our family. Without Aragon's sacrifice, my husband may not have come home, and our son would not have joined us.. So I'm forever grateful. An only saw it fit that our son be named in his honor. I don't believe it is a coincidence that we had a son, or that he was born in March, the same month, exactly a year later.. Heavenly Father really does work in mysterious ways..
After 3 years of schooling, Doula work, obsessed with everything birth and beyond. I was prepared. I knew my options. We decided to have a home water birth, the best way we felt it was for him to come earthside.. We hired a wonderful midwife, who stood behind us every step of the way. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was so anxious to meet my son. I LOVED being pregnant, feeling him move, it was like magic to me. I never felt "done" in the way you hear so many women complain.. I became a bit nervuos though, I had horrible nightmares I couldn't control. But some how made it through. I read all of Ina May Gaskin's books, to read amazing positive home birth stories. (Ina May is one of my heros!)
Well before we knew it, March was here! I had 3 weeks of prodromal labor, constantly thinking, "this is it" but then only to figure out it wasn't! Well after all that, we all got in the truck one Satruday, (march 12) and went for a nice long bumpy drive on the farms.. Well let me tell you, that did something! The next morning I had lost my plug and had my bloody show! I knew it was going to be in the next few days! That night (march 13) my husband and I were watching a TV show, while I had mild contractions on the birth ball.. It was a bit late, maybe 10pm? and I felt we should turn it off and go to bed.. So we did. Around midnight I woke to some pretty powerful contractions. I was able to fall back to sleep till around 1ish. I labored peacefully in my bathroom for a while, not wanting to wake up Mark yet. Till I was sure this was it.. Soon they picked up in intensity and I knew.. I woke up Mark, and we started preparing for the birth of our son! I was doing pretty good using the sink as an anchor and squatting down during contractions. Mark was busy making calls to our birth team, getting my food/water, and setting up our bedroom/birth pool for the big event! He was amazing!
Our midwife showed up around 2am I think, I was excited! During the early/active labor stage I just went with the flow, joking with everyone, and enjoying the experience. It was so cool! It was just like having a get together, but the perk there was going to be a baby at the end!
The tub was finally filled up, we had white christmas lights hung around our window, (my bedroom is painted red, and the decor/bedset is red/black) very romantic setting!) candles lit, and all my affirmations taped up. Our birth photographer showed up and was a fly on the wall, silent and did a beautiful job!
Our daughter was sound asleep in her bed, as well as both dogs. It was perfect.
My labor picked up and I was in the zone, only thing that shocked me was Peter turned from anterior to posterior half way through. Causing intense back labor.. That part was powerful. The normal contractions where easy, no problem, its just the back ones took alot of my attention to stay grounded.. And with the amazing hands of my husband and midwife it was managed. I roared my baby earthside. I loved being in the birth tub, it helped melt the rushes. My husband, my amazing love, was there through it all. He jumped in the tub to hold me, he spoke encouragment, love and support. I'm so very grateful for his strength, and how much he helped me.
I labored through the night, a few hours before I began pushing Mark and I got out of the tub and got to have several rushes alone, he helped me to relax and we got back into the tub for the big finale!
It was around 7am, my daughter woke up and came into join us! She thought it was really cool! (I'm 4 weeks postpartum now, and she is always pretending to have a baby, or nursing! I just love it! :)
I was on all fours in the birth tub, Mark behind me squeezing my hips to help my back labor, I felt my son's head.. He was there! In that moment I was smiling ear to ear! Years of waiting, the pain of seeing everyone have their babies, it was finally my turn! But even more, I was birthing him how I wanted, in my home, safe, sound and protected.
I could feel the soft hair of my son, his head finally coming earthside! I don't even know what words to best describe this. The feelings I had, thoughts, it was amazing! Being in my own home, my space, no annoying medical staff, no yelling or rushing.. It was normal, peaceful. My birth was not a medical procedure, I wasn't another patient being timed or pushed into unnecessary interventions. Everyone present did what *I* wanted, an amazing primal insinct took over, I felt empowered not only of my own great and marvelous work but by the millions of women before me who had given birth the way God intended. I was connected to them, I wasn't alone, and I had the strength to do it. I can't deny that God was present, I honestly believe he is present at every birth. There is a veil our babies pass through to enter our world and God willing at the end of a long life, pass again through it. As I felt my perfect baby, perfectly moving through my body, I breathed him into being..It was pure ecstasy! I've been asked if I'd label this experience as Orgasmic, ((if you haven't watched that documentary I HIGHLY recommend it!)) and I have to say.. It was! It was an Orgasmic Birth, pure and awesome. My precious baby boy, came peacefully into his daddy's hands. Mark then passed him (baby was still under the water) between my legs and into my arms, I lifted him out of the water and onto my chest. The amazing feelings that exploded I can't bring all into words. But it was my piece of heaven! Our son, Peter Aragon Jensen, came earthside, safely into his parents hands at 0745 am on March 14th, 2011. Weighing 8lbs 14oz, 22 inches long!! (no tears, none with my daughter either) A lovely full head of brown hair! Our daughter then stripped down to her underwear and jumped in the birth tub with us! Our little family, together! I felt amazing! Exhausted, but empowered! I did it, *I* did it! After all the waiting, the research, the schooling, the ache.. I carried, birthed and now nurse my son! My baby.. He healed my soul. Bringing about this amazing new start for our family, renewing my faith and showing me how much my heart can love.

Staring at my little one now, as he nurses, smiling at me.. I've been truly blessed.
This birth re-birthed me into a new woman, I became a mother when my daughter was born, but birthing my son, I DID IT! I did what I was made to do. What God designed me to do. All I can do is smile, an go into a pure state of ecstasy to remember the most wonderous experience that took place right here in my home.

~All because two people fell in love~

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Many Blogs to come!

Evening Readers!

Its been a long time, I apologize, I recently had a wonderful home water birth of our second child! So my attention has been elsewhere.. ;)

I have many wonderful blog topics coming up, right now I've been writing up my birth story and will get those all written up and posted soon. Hope all is well in your world!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Dr. Seuss for Nursing Moms

*Good morning readers, sorry its been a while, I found this fun 'poem' and thought it would go perfect with today's "going's on". Today on Facebook over 6thousand (and counting) women and men have logged off FB to prove a point.. We've changed the main photo to a breastfeeding theme. There have been dozens of profile and pictures deleted because someone flagged them claiming it "obscene and inappropriate!" When in reality its the exact opposite. There are far "worse" photos all over FB. Women nude, bikinis, lingerie, and those continue to be allowed on FB. I don't really care what someone has on THEIR facebook, although seeing naked men and womens pictures on FB is disturbing, the thing is its THEIRS, and if I don't like it, tough cookies, I just don't look! *Gasp* what a concept.. So back to FB, this absurd idea that FEEDING your BABY is obscene? If people have a 'problem' with it, just get over it. No matter what is said, or where you stand, all major medical industries will agree, "BREAST IS BEST" But I don't need them telling me that. If you formula fed great, but if you have some kind of vendetta against mothers who nurse, step off your high horse and act your age! Breasts are not a sexual idol, its society who claims that, slams pictures and music videos, magazines, movies, etc. Telling you, brainwashing you into believing they are only meant for sex. They are FIRST and foremost designed to nourish babies. Covering up, although for some women who feel that need personally, is just another way of hiding a perfectly normal act. I don't know about you, but I don't want my kids growing up thinking that babies only get cut from womens tummies and are only fed from a plastic bottle.. My own 3yr old "nurses" her dolls, she knows that babies grow in a uterus, not the tummy, and they come out of a vagina. I'm not ashamed of my boobs, I will not hide in a bathroom or cover them up. It is my legal right to nurse anywhere and anyway I choose. And FB should not try to "govern" that.. Just because someone else is "uncomfortable". (Sorry this was off subject in educational purposes, its more a rant.. ;) Enjoy the poem!)

Would you nurse him in the park?
Would you nurse him in the dark?
Would you nurse him with a Boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse him in the park,
I would nurse him in the dark.
I’d nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.

Can you nurse with your seat belt on?
Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though he may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse him `till he’s full!

Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes him healthy strong and smart,
Mommy’s milk is the best start!

Would you nurse him at the game?
Would you nurse him in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse him at the game.
I would nurse him in the rain.

As for those who protest lactation,
I have the perfect explanation.
Mommy’s milk is tailor made
It’s the perfect food, you need no aid.

Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast’s the perfect food!

I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that this milk’s the perfect food!

We make the amount we need
The perfect temp for every feed.
There’s no compare to milk from breast-
The perfect food, above the rest.

Those sweet nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mommy’s milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can’t be beat.

I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.
I will not let my baby cry,
I’ll meet his needs, I’ll always try.
It’s not about what’s good for you,
It’s best for babies, through and through.

I will nurse him in my home,
I will nurse him when I roam.
Leave me be lads and ma'am.
I will nurse him, MOM I AM.

Author unknown